More Thoughts on Marriage....

Over the last year, I have done alot of reading and scripture study on marriage and what God desires from me in my role as a wife. In April, I blogged about relational intimacy and the humility that is required for it. What I shared was from the book "Love That Lasts" by Gary and Betsy Ricucci. It has become my new favorite marriage book. It's only 178 pages and full of great information. The first chapter of this book talks about what marriage is...since God came up with marriage in the beginning, the only place we find a reliable and accurate description of marriage is in the Bible. Gary then asks and answers some defining questions of biblical marriage. The first question is: Does your marriage find its purpose primarily in God? Here is his answer.....Many people, if they were totally honest, would admit that the central focus of their marriage is their personal satisfaction. In this view, marriage is a means of self-fulfillment, a path to personal happiness. I find someone who seems to complete me, who feels like my "soul-mate." My heart melts, I open myself up to her, and she to me. This view says, I know my marriage is good because I'm happy. You complete me, and I'm so satisfied with you. Therefore, our marriage is good. Others say that's just selfish. Marriage is not about me--it's about you, my spouse, they declare. I commit my life to making you happy. If you're happy, I'm happy. My needs aren't important. I am your noble servant, the wind beneath your wings. I exist to serve you. I must serve you! Still others say, No, marriage is not about you or me. It's about us. We check our Me at the door of We. What you might need and what I might want are all consumed in the greater vision of Marriage. We live as one. We think as one. We feel as one. We are Marriage! The truth is, all these views have the same fatal limitation: They are centered in man rather than in God. A truly Christian marriage starts with the reality that the institution of marriage does not belong to us. It belongs to God. He designed marriage, and his purposes for it are paramount.
So then, what are God's purposes for marriage? Whenever we speak of God's purposes, we must begin and end with Scripture. It is so easy to look elsewhere for guidance. We are quick to depend on our feelings, our habits, the opinions of others, secular culture, false religion, expediency, or self-will as a basis for our perspective, behavior, and decisions regarding marriage. Yet Scripture, and Scripture alone, is God's means for revealing who he is, who we are, and what marriage is intended to be.
Briefly stated, Scripture teaches that marriage is a profound and marvelous relationship--a mystery, established by God for His glory. Glory means doing that which, to some degree, accurately reveals and represents him and appropriately honors and responds to him for who he is in his perfection and power. Thus, marriage brings glory to God by displaying as fully as possible how he relates to his people through Jesus Christ.
What is this mystery of marriage? It began in the Garden of Eden when God himself fashioned a woman perfectly suited to Adam and "brought her to the man" (Genesis 2:22). From Genesis 2:24 we glean this divine description of marriage: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." So from the earliest pages of Scripture, we see that marriage--an exclusive, passionate, and permanent relationship between a man and a woman--owes its very existence to God.
As significant as marriage was in Eden, the full meaning of marriage was not disclosed until the coming of Christ. When the apostle Paul teaches about marriage in Ephesians 5, he quotes Genesis 2:24 and then draws back the curtain on this amazing truth: "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." This revelation explodes all human-centered explanations for marriage. The relationship between a husband and a wife is meant to be a reflection of Christ's relationship with his church--a living parable of the supernatural union between Jesus and his Bride.
To grasp this staggering truth is both inspiring and sobering. What a privilege! What a responsibility!
For many of us, this truth reminds us not so much of God's grand design, but of how far short we fall of the divine ideal. Yet God wouldn't have made the analogy unless he intended to draw us to himself and his faithfulness for its fulfillment. It's overwhelming to realize that God intends to create and cultivate the same abundant, gracious love between a husband and wife that he has for us. In light of this glorious gift it is no wonder that Scripture reminds us that marriage is to be held in honor among all (Hebrews 13:4).
So marriage, far from being an end in itself, is a key part of God's plan to fill the earth with a demonstration of who he is. Marriage belongs to God and exists for his glory. And that is for our good.